…And a grown woman tutted.

Tough crowd at a toddler event.

I told my two and a half year old we were going on an adventure and I wasn’t wrong, Oisin danced and sang, I sat in a puddle of my own sweat,

Most of that Tuesday and Wednesday were spent getting Oisin all psyched up for a big adventure with Mammy. So on the Thursday morning, after having to wake him, myself and Oisín went into town for 9.15am and hit the toddler red carpet. It was a launch in conjunction with Toddlebox.ie–  a Facebook page I have grown to love due to it’s amazing tips and advice. I know that sounds vague as to what the launch was, but there’s a few reasons I’m being vague about it.

Firstly, it was a toddler premier therefore it was manic. If you look up the meaning of the word Toddler in the dictionary it’s a half ripped page, with crayon scribbled all over it and some hard Weetabix sticking the end of it to other pages, but beneath that, you’ll see the word MANIC. So it was busy from the get go.

Secondly, I had Oisin with me & when he gets moving, he can give Usain Bolt a run for his money. So basically I was trying to mange a small human firefly in a fairly small room. As you can imagine, I was trying to pay attention to what was going on, but I was somewhat distracted.

Thirdly, I should know and I’m sure there was a press release in the goodie bags that where on the seats, but we were last in and there was more people, big and small, then there was seats, so no bag, therefore no press release. No seat meant they brought in a chair for me to sit along the wall, right at the front of the cinema. Oisín has absolutely no intention of sitting on my lap NOT.A .HOPE.IN.HELL  We are front and centre and  he is ready to have an adventure.

Sarah Keogh, who I’ve interviewed in my old radio life a few times gave a 10 minute talk about nutrition. Oisín danced in the background… Brendan Courtney gave a small speech and there was Oisin was right behind him jumping, singing & cheering on Brendan.

’HURRAY’

 My insides where turning inside out. I tried to grab, settle, distract, bribe him away, but he was enjoying himself way too much to play ball. Word to the wise, toddlers are hard to wrangle and even harder to reason with.

Anyway, we made it through the talks and the quick preview of the Toddlerbox ad, which I think was why we were there. Oisín and a few other kids are having a play around at the top of the cinema. I was sweating that much trying to just keep him a bit in check that I’m full sure I was losing weight. Suddenly, Oisin launched himself off a little ledge and bumps into another kid. They both hit the deck. I picked the other kid up and said “Sorry” to the mam as I brought them over.

As I turn to get Oisin, I’m was struck by the vision of kid, I’m thinking around seven years old, with arms folded high and a cross look over their young soft forehead. Their bottom lip was sticking out and their head tilted down with a frown literally GLARING at me. It was a look of complete disapproval.  Jesus, very it’s warm in here.

I’d like to interject and say, I always overcompensate in these situations – both ways. If Oisin bumps into another kid and vice versa. He’s giddy but he’s not a toddler thug and I don’t assume any other kids is out to get him either. I picked Oisin up and gave him a ‘right you need to cool your jets kiddo’ chat, and I told him to sit and watch the movie.

As I mentioned before, toddlers are not the easiest people to reason with, well mine isn’t, if yours is – please, tell me your secret. This particular day it was full on, arms flailing, leg kicking, “NOOOOOOO” type situation. At home, in the supermarket or in the park, he’d get a stern telling off but I’m in a cinema at the front, did I mention I’m sweating?!?

He does this rigid plank thing, which enabled him to escape from my clutches and he went right back to dancing and rolling on the floor.

A few mins pass and if I am honest I’m just so uncomfortable with the whole thing and if he falls over another kid, I don’t think I’ll cope. So, I go over and begin the bribe to get him out with the least amount of fuss possible. His first reaction is his chosen word of the morning “NO!” As it turned out that was actually his word of the week, not just that day.

Then I hear it…

“TUT”

I nearly vomited ! Did some lady, a woman, a mother???? just tut at me, or Ois, or maybe both of us?! I scampered, bags, coats, child under arm out the door with the promise of cake.

I made my excuses and did my best not to have a cry as I met Brendan Courtney at the door asking were we leaving. I said lots of words at him- actually no idea what I said- I’m pretty sure it was a basic excuse to get the hell out of there as quick as possible. I really wanted to chat casually about his new range, how I love it, but I’m wrangling Ois & probably a bit hormonemotional. Which is a strong mix of hormonal and emotional.

By the time Joey came home for lunch I was questioning everything- Was I the worst parent? Was my kid really that bold??  Oh, and I was crying because of, well, the morning basically; and that a seven year old gave me such a filthy look! What is my problem?

Now I could tell you that the fact that both of Oisín’s ears were infected and that he’d tonsillitis had something to do with the day. But why bother. He’s two and a half, he’s busy, full of wonder and really giddy and, as Joey said, was on an adventure with his Mammy. The only think I can be thankful for is that he did not drink the toddler size pint of apple juice that was provided before the film. If some sugar had been chucked in the mix, now THAT would have been an adventure for everyone!

S xx